Countdowns and the What's Next

I don't do countdowns anymore. I haven't really payed much attention to countdowns since the last day of classes in high school. Y'see, there's always supposed to be this big hurrah about "Senior Countdown" where all the seniors who are still eligible by that point in high school (usually only about half the honors kids) get together in the cafeteria for 9th period the last day of class and share in some tasteless cake, snack foods, and some red coloured beverage, and we all count down the seconds until the clock struck 2:57 pm the last time for us in that memorable yet soon forgettable place. My senior countdown did not involve myself or my good friends because by that point in time, we had had enough of high school rules and BS, and decided to skip out on some of our less enjoyable classes the last few weeks. So we were told we would be given the ever dreaded "cut" on our attendance record and if we had... I don't know, I guess 4 or 5 cuts, we would be ineligible for Senior Countdown.

Oh the horror. So instead, the high school Commons was buzzing with about 92% of the 12th grade class and those few weird kids form lower grades who thought they were just as cool as the seniors because they had friends who were there. (Newsflash to those kids - seniors aren't really all that cool, and so you hanging out with them on their moment to shine doesn't really make you all that awesome either.) The 92% of us were floating around and jibberjabbering and had our own senior countdown in plain sight of all the school authorities who would soon mean nothing to us. We felt pretty awesome at life by that point and as we said aloud "3...2...1" and then whooped and hollered I realized that I felt absolutely no different than I did just 5 seconds beforehand. I knew for the entire school year that this was the last bit of high school for me, and it was cemented in my head long beforehand with college applications and my acceptance into the school I would eventually choose to attend, the University of Delaware. So this whole Senior Countdown ordeal really had no effect on me.

Someone the other day asked me how many days until I leave for South Africa. I have no idea. I could count them, buuuutttt that wouldn't do me any good. I know I have approximately 6 weeks until I depart. Again, I could do the math and figure it out but I see no reason to. There's way too much to be concerned with at present.

I have been collecting thoughts of what I would like to bring. Certain books, pictures, memory items, electronics (if they're even usable), widgets, gidgets and gadgets, outdoor gear, clothes etc. But that's just about as far as I have gotten. Collecting thoughts. I haven't taken any definite steps towards packing because I know that when it comes down to it, it will all get done. There was a great Calvin and Hobbes cartoon that alluded to having to be in the right mindset to get something accomplished, whether it's a homework assignment, creative project, or packing up to live in a foreign country for the next 2 years of your life. You can enjoy the comic here.

So what am I doing with my time until then? The most important thing to me is tying up loose ends here. I want to see as many of my friends as I can at least once more before I ship out. For some, I've said my "See you later"s already. (We don't say good-bye, only See You Later). Mentally it's tough to grasp the concept that your friends who you've lived close to your entire life are now all of a sudden in the span of one or two years living all over the country and all over the world, and realistically, things will never go back to the way they were just a short while ago. Wow, that was hard to write. Things won't go back to how they were, and things won't be the same as your fondest memories and most wishful thinking would have you hope for. I've struggled with this for a long while - we all do, especially right after college. But I realized (with the help of a very good friend or six) that that's kind of what we should want.

Undoubtedly, if you have amazing memories of your life experiences with your friends at a certain point in your life, you would love to go back and relive those experiences. That sounds great, but looking at it from a larger perspective, it seems that to do such a thing means that that is where our friendships and fun have peaked, and if we live in that mindset, we block out opportunities to outdo ourselves.

College was beyond words amazing for me. It took me a while to realize such a thing, but it absolutely was. For most people this is the case. But I finally let go of the firm grasp I had on wanting to go back to college as it was and started getting into the mindset that "I can do more, and there is so much more out there for me".

There are better things than college waiting for me, and of course for whoever you are as well. To peak at college would be a tragedy. No one wants to end up like the "Trip McNeely" types - high school star athletes whose time came and went before they could legally buy beer to celebrate.

The next step is huge. Beyond that, the possibilities are seemingly endless.

But no more countdowns to the next stage. I'll just take it as it comes.